Beans and Fiber

I'm proud to say that I've been pooping a lot more regularly. You were most likely worried about my hard as rocks bowel movements I mentioned in my last post. Well, you can take a calming breath now because things are moving much smoother through the colon now. What has contributed to this amazing turn of events, you ask? 

Fiber!

Yes, I am eating much more fiber now and I owe a lot of this to the recent endorsement by President Trump and Ivanka of Goya beans. I mean, if he's telling me that they're good, they must be!

(Is it just me or does the President remind you of something in that photo?) 

Sometimes it gets a little confusing because the President also endorses McDonald's and KFC but hey, I'm not one to question. And my poop is proof! 

This is the first time to my recollection that a U.S. President has obnoxiously pushed products in our faces but I know he's got my best interest at heart. He just wants the economy to get back to normal, and it's my duty (did you see what I did there? DOOODY!) to be a good consumer and buy, buy, buy!

When the President and his daughter tweet, we need to listen!

I just hope that there will be enough toilet paper for all of us Americans who are going to be pooping more because we're eating all these beans now. I'd better make a run for Costco before they run out. Oh! Those damn socialists at Costco will make me wear a mask. Don't they know it's a free country??? 

Remember: everybody poops.