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Beans and Fiber

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I'm proud to say that I've been pooping a lot more regularly. You were most likely worried about my hard as rocks bowel movements I mentioned in my last post. Well, you can take a calming breath now because things are moving much smoother through the colon now. What has contributed to this amazing turn of events, you ask?  Fiber! Yes, I am eating much more fiber now and I owe a lot of this to the recent endorsement by President Trump and Ivanka of Goya beans. I mean, if he's telling me that they're good, they must be! (Is it just me or does the President remind you of something in that photo?)  Sometimes it gets a little confusing because the President also endorses McDonald's and KFC but hey, I'm not one to question. And my poop is proof!  This is the first time to my recollection that a U.S. President has obnoxiously pushed products in our faces but I know he's got my best interest at heart. He just wants the economy to get back to normal, and it's my

Here We Are

Well, well, well.  It's 2020 and things seem a bit...off.  Nearly five years ago I left the blogsphere with hopes and dreams for a better world, and better bowel movements.  Both have not turned out the way I thought they would.  I'm severely constipated and it seems as though the U.S.A. is suffering from a similar ailment.  Even though I drink water and try to eat fiber, I still find my poops are as hard and round as rabbit bum pellets, which makes me think: rabbits eat lots of lettuce and carrots. That's a bunch of fiber. Shouldn't their poops be softer? Perhaps rabbits are severely dehydrated? It's something to wonder about.   Then there's that froth-mouthed, red-faced, nincompoop leading this country to ruin amidst an historic pandemic. Very similar to rabbit bum pellets but it's too bad we can't expel him as fast as those furry critters dump their shit everywhere.  What makes things even more dire is there seems to be absolutely nothing we can do to