Posts

Same Shit Different Name

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Poop. Crap. Shit. Dung. Deuce. Doo doo. Dump. Plop. Excrement. Scat. Dropping. Dung. Feces. Stool. Muck. Manure.  There are so many words for the stuff that you could write a whole book about it...and actually, people have written about it extensively.  What I find odd is why we're so fascinated with the very natural process of eliminating waste from the body. Maybe the fact that so many people can't do it without problems is the reason. In the modern world, gastrointestinal distress is more common than you think:  Constipation: Affects about 20% of the population, and is the most common gastrointestinal complaint. Fecal incontinence :  Affects about 1 in 10 people, and is more common in women and people over 65. Digestive diseases :  Around 60 to 70 million people in the U.S. live with a digestive disease. That's why I'm going to dedicate each post to the poop problems I've been having and then I'll go into politics because I'm pretty sure more people have ...

Deja Vu or P.U.?

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 I forgot I started this blog because I've been in a stupor for the past for years. But, something seems really familiar...could it be that it's time for Poop and Politics again?  Why yes. I think it is about that time.  Let's begin deep down in the bowels where everything that comes out of Washington D.C. and most butt holes seem to begin.  I'm still not as regular as my doctors tell me I should be. Seems like I go between extremes: constipated or running stools. I have tried supplements, various diets, and fiber but my gut and intestines can't seem to make up their minds on how they want to get rid of waste. Every time I sit on the toilet, I'm not sure if I'm going to get more hemorrhoids from pushing so hard or I'm going to use a whole roll of toilet paper after a major blow out. I'm beginning to believe that there is no normal poop for me, and I'm still here so as long as my colon doesn't fall out. I'm good.  Which brings us to the cu...

Beans and Fiber

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I'm proud to say that I've been pooping a lot more regularly. You were most likely worried about my hard as rocks bowel movements I mentioned in my last post. Well, you can take a calming breath now because things are moving much smoother through the colon now. What has contributed to this amazing turn of events, you ask?  Fiber! Yes, I am eating much more fiber now and I owe a lot of this to the recent endorsement by President Trump and Ivanka of Goya beans. I mean, if he's telling me that they're good, they must be! (Is it just me or does the President remind you of something in that photo?)  Sometimes it gets a little confusing because the President also endorses McDonald's and KFC but hey, I'm not one to question. And my poop is proof!  This is the first time to my recollection that a U.S. President has obnoxiously pushed products in our faces but I know he's got my best interest at heart. He just wants the economy to get back to normal, and it's my ...

Here We Are

Well, well, well.  It's 2020 and things seem a bit...off.  Nearly five years ago I left the blogsphere with hopes and dreams for a better world, and better bowel movements.  Both have not turned out the way I thought they would.  I'm severely constipated and it seems as though the U.S.A. is suffering from a similar ailment.  Even though I drink water and try to eat fiber, I still find my poops are as hard and round as rabbit bum pellets, which makes me think: rabbits eat lots of lettuce and carrots. That's a bunch of fiber. Shouldn't their poops be softer? Perhaps rabbits are severely dehydrated? It's something to wonder about.   Then there's that froth-mouthed, red-faced, nincompoop leading this country to ruin amidst an historic pandemic. Very similar to rabbit bum pellets but it's too bad we can't expel him as fast as those furry critters dump their shit everywhere.  What makes things even more dire is there seems to be absolutely nothing we ca...